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BioWare Begins Internal Search for Someone Named “Sovereign” to Save Company After Anthem ala Nintendo

Satire
bioware

This is satire. If it’s something you can believe, that speaks to BioWare’s problems eh Bowser move over, BioWare is attempting to find someone internally to promote to CEO named Sovereign, to bring forth their powers to help save the studio after yet another flop has been released. Anthem, their first original IP since Dragon Age, has flopped because everyone on social media has said it has. Previous games, such as Mass Effect Andromeda were on sale for $9.99 shortly after release, being a game that was similar to the Halo games that didn’t have Master Chief, but with the trappings of a numbered Halo game. Nintendo recently promoted Bowser to rule over Nintendo of America, dethroning the bad meme that was Reggie, in order to instill an iron fist rule over the corporation. Hopefully, Sovereign, if they can find one, will come forth to save BioWare from itself and…

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An Ode to ‘Lego Star Wars: The Video Game’

Editorials
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With the second Lego movie recently hitting theaters, I thought of another one of my favorite combos: Legos and Star Wars. I have no carpentry skills whatsoever, and if you told me to build a birdhouse, I would fail epically. However, even at a young age, I was a Lego connoisseur and could create anything that crossed my path. I was obsessed with Legos and Star Wars, and even built the Lego Millenium Falcon all by myself. You can envision my excitement when I found out there would be a Lego Star Wars video game. Game on bro. When I first found out about Lego Star Wars: The Video Game I was ecstatic. It would be the perfect blend of the loves of my life at the time. Now imagine the pain that came with that when I realized it was initially released on the Xbox and PS2, but not on the Gamecube. Oh,…

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EA Stock Plunges, now Reaching 10 Year Low

News
ea stocks tank battlefield v delayed

Electronic Arts Inc., the multi-billion dollar company behind many of the world’s top selling games, recently took a big hit in the stock market. Now it would appear that the company may soon reach a ten year low concerning the matter. As reported by Market Watch, EA’s shares (-13.43%) plunged by an estimated 10 percent on Tuesday following missed sales expectations. EA’s stock has reportedly fallen a total 24 percent within the past year. If EA’s stock continues to decline through today, the company will experience its largest single-day percentage decline since Dec. 17, 1999. EA Chief Executive Andrew Wilson has gone on to claim that the company faced “significant challenges” within the fiscal third quarter of the year that would continue through the fourth quarter. Battlefield V has drawn much of the blame. The title reportedly sold a grand 1 million fewer copies than EA executives had anticipated. The…

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‘Madden’ Predicts the Rams Will Beat the Pats

News
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As has been done in the past, Electronic Arts did their yearly Super Bowl simulation, trying to predict this year’s winner. This Madden NFL 19 sim had the Rams beating the Patriots by a score of 30 – 27. Historically, the Madden Super Bowl sim has been pretty accurate. Since 2004, the simulation has been correct 10 out of 15 times, not bad for a video game. While Madden has shown to be accurate in past predictions, I am here to tell you Madden is wrong this year. As much as I would love to see my UGA boy Todd Gurley tear it up this Sunday and hoist that Lombardi trophy, I don’t see it happening. There is one thing that video games cannot replicate – determination and spirit. Tom Brady and the Patriots are determined and motivated like never before. They feel like they are underdogs and that everyone doubts them, and that terrifies me. The…

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EA Snubs Open-World Star Wars Game, Offers Statement

News
ea not doing star wars film tie ins

EA Vancouver has reportedly been developing a new Star Wars game as of late. However, it would appear that Electronic Arts has decided to pull the proverbial plug. As reported by Kotaku, the game was initially intended to be a sprawling, open-world game within the Star Wars universe. However, EA has since cancelled the game in favor of developing a smaller scale title. In a recent statement to Kotaku, EA danced around the topic of the cancelled game. Seemingly dodging the allegation, the publishing titan simply offered a few words on “future Star Wars content.” Check out the full statement down below. “There’s been speculation overnight about one of our Star Wars projects. As a natural part of the creative process, the great work by our team in Vancouver continues and will evolve into future Star Wars content and games. We’re fully committed to making more Star Wars games, we’re…

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The Journey is More Important than the End – An Open Letter

Editorials
assassins creed odyssey

We get caught up playing games to finish them or achieve something or score some victory or some win. Some amount of points, some kind of achievements; these are things that we crave in order to drive us to play games but really, the journey to do these things are so important. I’ve been playing Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey and I noticed something. Moving between objectives was far more fun than actually completing them. Seeing the world, listening to the sea, watching the ships move in the distance while mountains lumbered over the horizon; the views in the game are beyond gorgeous. The combat, while enthralling and the story, while good creates a world that really makes your time in it exciting and fun. In games we often think about the goals, often listed directly on the screen and of little more. Games like Shadow of the Colossus really brought the…

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